The 6th Floor Blog: Five-Ku: Haikus About Jason Statham

Written By Unknown on Rabu, 30 Januari 2013 | 18.37

Correction Appended

While the world was scrambling to anoint the next big action hero — a crown that has rested, often uneasily, on the brows of everyone from Vin Diesel to Dwayne (the Rock) Johnson to Tayler Lautner to Chloe Moretz — Jason Statham sort of sneaked up on us. Or rather, he sneaked up on us wearing a Savile Row tailored suit, then snapped our necks, then said something charming in a Cockney accent. (British accent-ologists, feel free to correct me here.)

This recent appreciation of Statham by Andy Webster in The Times speculated that his new film, "Parker," might be the one that "finally pushes Mr. Statham into a Hollywood tier above his usual shoot-'em-up ghetto," a sentiment we agree with, though we'll confess we also spend a lot of time hanging out in the cinematic shoot-'em-up ghetto and kind of like it there.

That said, Webster's article is a great introduction to/endorsement of Statham, to which we can only add these five haikus, part of our ongoing series, Five-Ku, in which we celebrate famous people in haikus.

Enjoy — or, as Statham might say: "Enjoy" [Snap. Slump. Lights cigarette.]

Bruce Willis, Stanley
Tucci, Yul Brynner and now
Statham: Hot Bald Dudes

Statham! Eats modern
Namby-pambs like Pattinson
As snacks, between takes.

You really dove for
British national team? Once
12th in world? Statham!

No kids' films for you,
Unless film titled ''Bloke in
A Suit Who Kills Folks''

Statham! Your girlfriend
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Not haiku-friendly.


Correction: January 29, 2013

An earlier version of this post misstated the given name of a one of the stars of the ''Twilight Saga'' film series. He is Taylor Lautner, not Tyler.


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